KAFFE med BACH!!!!!!!!!!!

Det är något speciellt med kaffe, det visste redan Johann Sebastian Bach -- en bekant berättade om sin vana att starta varje morgon med en av Bachs koraler och en stor kopp varmt kaffe, för att känna hur livet sipprar in i händerna och huvudet*. Själv är jag något av en samlare: jag har många kaffesouvenirer i mitt rum: en cafetière, ett urval av finska kaffekoppar, en guldfärgad Gustav Klimt-mugg och numera tunt, vitt kaffeporslin från SCR.

Ni vet, det finns så många människor som kategoriserar J.S. Bach antingen som en djupt religiös, metafysisk nummermystiker, eller som vilken annan praktisk barockkompositör som helst som producerade stycke efter stycke utan eftertanke ("Telemann + 21 barn"). Vad jag verkligen aldrig har förstått är alla de som säger att Bach inte hade någon humor. De vet inte vad de talar om...... mina damer och herrar, får jag presentera, en man med ett universiellt budskap:

J.S. Bach: "Kaffe-kantaten", BWV 211!

Narrator (recitative)
Be quiet, stop chattering,
and pay attention to what's taking place:
here comes Herr Schlendrian
with his daughter Lieschen;
he's growling like a honey bear.
Hear for yourselves, what she has done to him!

Schlendrian (aria)
Don't one's children cause one
endless trials and tribulations!
What I say each day
to my daughter Lieschen
falls on stony ground.

(Recitative)
Schlendrian
You wicked child, you disobedient girl,
oh! when will I get my way;
give up coffee!
Lieschen
Father, don't be so severe!
If I can't drink
my bowl of coffee** three times daily,
then in my torment I will shrivel up
like a piece of roast goat.

Lieschen (aria)
Mm! how sweet the coffee tastes,
more delicious than a thousand kisses,
mellower than muscatel wine.
Coffee, coffee I must have,
and if someone wishes to give me a treat,
ah, then pour me out some coffee!

(Recitative)
Schlendrian If you don't give up drinking coffee
then you shan't go to any wedding feast,
nor go out walking.
oh! when will I get my way;
give up coffee!
Lieschen
Oh well!
Just leave me my coffee!
Schlendrian
Now I've got the little minx!
I won't get you a whalebone skirt
in the latest fashion.
Lieschen
I can easily live with that.
Schlendrian
You're not to stand at the window
and watch people pass by!
Lieschen
That as well, only I beg of you,
leave me my coffee!
Schlendrian
Furthermore, you shan't be getting
any silver or gold ribbon
for your bonnet from me!
Lieschen
Yes, yes! only leave me to my pleasure!
Schlendrian
You disobedient Lieschen you,
so you go along with it all!

Schlendrian (aria)
Hard-hearted girls
are not so easily won over.
Yet if one finds their weak spot,
ah! then one comes away successful***.

(Recitative)
Schlendrian
Now take heed what your father says!
Lieschen
In everything but the coffee.
Schlendrian
Well then, you'll have to resign yourself
to never taking a husband.
Lieschen
Oh yes! Father, a husband!
Schlendrian
I swear it won't happen.
Lieschen
Until I can forgo coffee?
From now on, coffee, remain forever untouched!
Father, listen, I won't drink any!
Schlendrian
Then you shall have a husband at last!

Lieschen (aria)
Today evendear father, see to it!
Oh, a husband!
Really, that suits me splendidly!
If it could only happen soon
that at last, before I go to bed,
instead of coffee
I were to get a proper lover!

Narrator (recitative)
Old Schlendrian goes off
to see if he can find a husband forthwith
for his daughter Lieschen;
but Leischen secretly lets it be known:
'no suitor is to come to my house
unless he promises me,
and it is also written into the marriage contract,
that I will be permitted
to make myself coffee whenever I want!'.

Trio
A cat won't stop from catching mice,
and maidens remain faithful to their coffee.
The mother holds her coffee dear,
the grandmother drank it also,
who can thus rebuke the daughters!

* Även kända som de viktigaste delarna av kroppen.

** märk väl ordvalet: a bowl of coffee! Det har framkommit kritik mot mitt sätt att bjuda gäster i Oxford på vin ur skålar, men detta är egentligen en gammal lutheransk sedvänja.

*** t ex kaffe, choklad eller klavikordspel.

En kaffedoftande PUSS,

Krullet

PS. Varning för inspelningen av den här kaffekantaten. Som vanligt är det MYCKET SVÅRT att realisera Bachs otroliga ideal i praktiken...